This is a body from the 1800's.
Borrrring.
Here is a midget skeleton.
Frieeeend.
Usually I would be completely tantalized by the skeleton, but right after I took this picture with my ultra-covert and WAY outdated (but free after the rebate) camera phone, an over sized security guard, who should have been an exhibit himself, came lunging at me like a damn linebacker because even though I read the 'No Pictures' sign, I never thought that the staff would fully impose such an asinine rule. Why no pictures?
Two things that I REALLY abhor in this world are waiters who don't bring out enough lemon for my water (that I'm NOT making into cheapskate lemonade) and authoritative figures. It just really kicks my shins when I have to deal with rules, especially in human form. When I see signs that state the rules of engagement, I know that the signs can't enforce the rules, so I have no problem breaking them. And if I get caught breaking the rules, then I can always use the defense of illiteracy (a growing problem in America). It's easy to overlook signs...
My new way to go about rules on signs, is to just simply not read them. This sounds pretty easy, but when it comes down to it, forcing yourself to remain oblivious is fucking hard to do. I love to read, so when I see a sign, my brain automatically scans it and reads it. So now with the new and improved Alexis, I'm forced to make a split decision when I see any type of literature in front of my face when I am out and about in public. It's like when someone is about to divulge something that you KNOW you don't want to hear. They come up to you ready with some juicy gossip and you just start singing any random song, or cover your ears and go "ahhhhhhhhhhhh.... mmmmmmmm.... eeeeeehhhhhh...." until they stop talking. I can't use that same tactic with the signs, so I just automatically divert my eyes to something else. I've practiced this for some time now, so when I'm in public, it usually works. ...Except for at the museum.
I'd like to leave a note to that bastard, Mutter:
Thanks Mr. Mutter for exploiting your scientific findings. Way to make a circus out of genetic anomalies that leave human beings afflicted by them, in hour long crying sessions late at night in their beds. I am also grateful that you offer discounts at your museum. As a piece of advice though, please don't create a freak show out of these innocent people and expect me not to take pictures. Really. No pictures of the gangrene hand in a jar of formaldehyde? That is a disgusting (not to mention stingy) rule.
What type of sick fuck are you?
I wish that you weren't dead, so that you would read this,
-Alexis
