My tits have been leaking lately and I'm guessing that it's normal. They still aren't at the rate of saturating my bras- thank God, but they are leaking nonetheless. Before all of this shit happened I was excited about the breast milk because I planned on squirting it in SSL's face when he was sleeping. But it doesn't even squirt. It just... comes out?
So when this shit first started with my boobs I thought that it was because (oh boy, he's going to freak out... hahaha) SSL is constantly sucking on them. I told him that I was afraid that our kid would think that he is busy stealing all of the milk and would come out early. Since then, the sucking has continued, but I guess that the kid got used to sharing. (Obviously MY genes...)
Anyhow, this whole time I'm thinking to myself "what the fuck does that shit taste like? What is my monster going to be tasting?" So I squirted some out of my boob and into my hand. Then... I tried it. For the rest of the day I was puking and shitting alternately. It's like I poisoned myself. At one point I was sitting on the can and I was holding a trash bin in front of me puking and shitting. When death did not come I knew that I had no other choice but to finish this dramatic episode. My day ended with me curled up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor.
As I stared at the ceiling and wondered how much a skylight would cost to install, should I end up living in the bathroom for the rest of my life, another thought came to mind. How the hell is this kid going to love me if it thinks that I'm poisoning it with my own breast milk? Should I puree a steak and milkshake for the monster in lieu of this disgusting tit acid? What would I want if I could chose? A rum and coke. In a bottle of course...
