I bet you suckers fell for that... Jesus. Yes, I'm pregnant again, but let's be real here. I guess that it's fate. FYI: breastfeeding is NOT a form of birth control. Uggggh....
Mannn, this shithead just called me and i lost my entire train of thought... .... .... .... Uhhh.... ....
Ah yes! The kid. Being the nomadic- ugh, Jordan Knight is on TV. Who the hell booked that? That's a pure crackheaded move. He drives me nuts. Don't even get me started. You know, I just don't understand why some musical artists keep trying to ...make it. new kids On The Block is over. Your solo career nosedived. Your boyfriend gives you atrocious fashion advice. Why am I looking at you right now on the television? Where the hell did you come from?! Go back to Mass...
So... Baby number two... I can't do this. Focusing on anything right now is pointless. And why the hell is Adele on Cosmo this month? Am I the only one on this planet who isn't wetting my pants over her vocals? And WHY is she doing that side 'I'm hot shit' pose for the camera?
Females who try to angle themselves like that must be conscious of their asymmetrical faces. My face? It's fat. A straight on shot of me? Impossibly imperfect! I'm the asshole in the group who poses like I'm 12. catch me off guard and I'll resemble someone lost in ...well, just lost. But if I'm in a group and someone rallies the brood for some snapshots, the girls usually do their automatic, 'i'm not really a slut, but look how sexy I am' poses and I'm the only asshole that you want to completely photoshop out of the 'hot girl' picture because my head looks so heavy, which is only exaggerated even more because I always have it tilted slightly in pictures. Why? I'm guessing that while everyone else wants to look slutty-sexy in their pictures, I just want to look like a nice and innocent person. Not really a come hither pose, but more like a drink the kool aid and join us stance...
Is this dingleberry KIDDING me?! SSL just texts me to ask if the subway is running or suspended. So I say "Well how the hell do you want me to do that?" So he goes "the internet". Give me a moment.
...What in the hell are smart phones for?! Don't they have the internet on them? I don't get it. When he is busy taking a dump on the john, he youtubes Kevin Hart and Chapelle on his phone, takes about an hour and doesn't think twice about it. The damn subway has issues and he asks me to check on the computer what's going on. Did I miss something? Is there some HUGE difference between the internet on his phone than the computer???? Oh... Crap... The subway isn't working.
...Good thing that I'm not due until July.
