REASON NUMBER ONE: To mask all of the bullet holes, cellulite, stretch marks, scars, ugly broads, and to conserve on the electric bill, duhhh.
REASON NUMBER TWO: Because they are FULL of germs. The germs in a strip club are large enough to be seen by the naked eye. Sometimes they are even mistaken as customers. One word: As the French say, "Yuck".
Sure, I go to strip clubs, so why should I feel this way? Well, I'm not going there for the amazing shrimp or wings (ahem ahem, motherfucker), that's for sure. I tend to fancy strip clubs that have pool tables. (Here's a fact.) *Strip clubs have the best music, usually the cheapest billiards and continuous live entertainment. Also, besides the broads dancing, I don't have to deal with any other chicks. It's just men. I'm not opposed to that at all.
What I do have a problem with is this. Unless you are at a stripclub that's BYOB (thank you Philadelphia), you are being served overpriced, watered down drinks. Then, to top that off, you might look down the bar one night and (holy shit) see your boyfriend stuffing his face with the "amazing" shrimp and wings that they serve there. So not only are you too damn sober to look past the fact that he's even licking his fingers clean, but some asshole accidentally flipped on the main light switch while getting a lapdance and you realize that you might as well be laying in a goddamn BFI dumpster.
And that was only the beginning of our conversation...
