I was told that though. I was told that I swear too much by one of my readers. And come to think about it, I was also told that by one of my family members. Just to clear the uhhh... smoke, I swear mostly when I'm in the moment or being too lazy to come up with other words. Right now I'm feeling a little bit of both, so to prove to them that I don't swear all the time, I'll type a blog without a single curse in it. Let me clear my schedule. This is going to take an entire day...
So what really ruffles my feathers that makes me really want to swear? What recent event could I talk about that is bound to have me agitated? Ah yes. This new phone...
Although I'm a spry little beast that should get carded by the cops during school hours for being out and about while looking so doggone young, I have the soul of a 60 year old. On top of that I have the technological skills of the most primitive person on earth. I belong in one of those undiscovered villages deep in the jungle. Capturing and biting the heads off of animals so that I can eat for the day sounds far easier than navigating through a computer. Forget the computer. I can't even navigate through this new phone.
Here's a nice little fast fact. Alexis doesn't like cell phones. Why are these personal low jacks so important to everyone? Uggggggh. I just can't stand them. Amongst my friends I am known for having the oldest model cell phones in the most mangled conditions. It takes me forever just to learn how to turn my phone on. My last little baby made it through two and a half years strong. When my charger broke though and the representatives at the kiosk informed me that they no longer made my model, I was forced into ...an upgrade. And that is the point when I said "no thanks".
Having my phone charger break on me was a godsend. Finally I had a reason to not be in contact with anyone. Finally I didn't have to answer the "why didn't you answer my call/call me back" questions. Finally I was free to just live. It was perfect. I'll be frank. For the three days that I was without a phone, I felt like a new person. My stress level went down, I looked ten years younger and I slept better. I was over the moon. SSL though had other plans for me.
I'm having this mind blowing time warp back to when cell phones didn't exist and every block had a pay phone on it when SSL walks into the apartment with a brand new phone for me. Compared to my ancient (yet very advanced for me) flip phone, this thing looks like a uhhh remote control for a rocket ship. What on earth are all these buttons for and how does touch screen work for someone with fat fingers like me? I don't get it. The gadget drives me nuts. While I'm still reminding SSL that the the CIA is getting everyone's finger prints from the touch screens, I long for the three days that I was out of touch. I don't do technology.
There. I did it. Not a single swear. Don't call to congratulate me. My brain is out of commission and my phone is off. Suckers!
